Atheist
And Catholic Can Compromise:
Put Faith In Tolerance
Dear
Harlan,
I met a wonderful and beautiful girl, and we've been off and
on dating (mainly "on") for about three and a half years now
while attending school. She will be graduating from college
with a degree in the scientific field in May 2007. I've been
living with her for about two years. Here's the problem: I'm
an atheist who questions everything and has a very strong
foundation regarding my beliefs. My girlfriend, on the other
hand, is a Catholic - in my opinion, one who doesn't question
her beliefs enough. She was raised Catholic and seems to like
it, even if she doesn't practice it. I personally don't have
a problem with people being religious, as long as they have
a strong foundation in their beliefs. I'm at a point in my
life where I want to start settling down and am starting to
think about having kids. In no way would I want to jeopardize
her morals or my own. We've talked about having kids, and
every time have ended with an argument: She wants to take
her kids to church and raise them Catholic, and I won't even
consider the thought of having my children raised in a church.
At first I thought this was something that we could possibly
work out. I stupidly thought that I could possibly convert
my scientific-minded, Catholic girlfriend to atheism. But
now, I really don't see either one of those things happening.
We both love each other and would like to get married, but
we can't seem to get over this children issue.
Devote
Dear Devote,
She doesn't need to defend her beliefs for them to be beliefs
worth having. It's as if you think her being a scientist makes
it less plausible that she can have religion. Faith doesn't
have a formula. Before replacing her with someone who agrees
wholeheartedly that there is no God, consider that something
greater could come from this. Maybe you can work out a compromise
and raise a child who can love people of all religions and
embrace an individual's choice to have religion in his or
her life. At a time when there is so much intolerance in the
world, the idea of creating a new life that respects differences
and can help teach others to do the same is so needed. Have
faith. Spread tolerance.
