Mom
With Learning Disabled Son Needs Help
Dear
Harlan,
I
am the single parent of a learning-disabled teen (high-school
graduate, now attending college and working part-time). He
has no friends and no social life and has never had a date
(male or female!). He's well-groomed, at least average in
looks, but is not confident, is shy and is socially immature.
In public, he is quiet, but at home can be interestingly opinionated
and often amusing. He has low average intelligence, doesn't
play/enjoy sports (is uncoordinated) but likes video games,
drives his own car and earns good money at his part-time job.
He claims not to be lonely, and while that might be true,
I worry about his future, as an only child with no family
and no friends. What can I do at this late date to help my
son become a little better at striking up friendships?
Loving Mom
Dear
Loving Mom,
My
guess is that for his entire teen life, he's been made to
feel terrible about himself and he's walled himself in to
protect himself. But he needs to see that there is more out
there - like a place where he can be a hero and be respected.
Try steering him in the direction of volunteering and working
with people who can appreciate him. A Big Brother program
(www.bbbs.org),
Habitat for Humanity (through his college) or a faith-based
organization might be the answer. The better he feels outside
the house, the more likely he'll be to take some initiative
to meet someone. If he won't take the first step on his own,
make it something you do as a family. Hope this helps.
