Harlan's
Rude Reply Prompts
Readers To Retaliate
Dear
Harlan,
Your reply to "Walt"
was quite rude. Where on earth are you coming from, Harlan?!
I read Walt's letter re the teen contemplating suicide, and
I thought his advice was succinct and positive! His entire
platform struck me as positive: Quit dwelling on oneself and
do something positive to help another! How you perceive this
to be "one of the worst letters of encouragement" you've ever
received beats me! You further insult this writer by telling
him he's awful at communicating! What crystal ball told you
he's had a rough life and is "so angry"?
Seeing
It Differently
Dear Seeing It Differently and
Everyone Who Disliked my Response,
The reason I thought Walt's letter was one of the worst letters
of encouragement is because I'm all for tough love, but there
has to be some compassion. Without compassion, tough love
comes off as judgmental and risks alienating people who are
already feeling isolated and alone. That's where I think Walt
came up way short. But many people, in addition to the previous
reader, disagreed with me. I respect and appreciate everyone's
point of view, including Walt's. If I didn't, I would never
have shared his letter and responded to the notes critical
of me. So, after further review, Walt's letter isn't the worst
letter of encouragement ever received, it's just not the best.
***************
***************
Dear
Harlan,
Although I thought your answer to Walt
was great, it could have gone further. I have been close to
suicide several times in my life, and not just as a teenager.
I found that reaching out to help other people actually made
me feel worse, NOT better. I would come home exhausted and
cry from the pain I would feel. I finally learned that when
I felt that bad, what I needed was a psychiatrist, and I found
one who was of the same religion as I am and who didn't spout
so-called "psychobabble," either. If I take care of myself
first, then I can help others and experience the joy of doing
so. A lot of those suicidal teenagers out there have been
abused, just like I was, and they need someone to reach out
and help THEM. When you get more letters from suicidal people,
keep telling them to get help, whether from their religious
leader, school counselor or a trained therapist. And if they
can't bring themselves to talk to anyone about their problems,
tell them to write a note and give it to someone who is in
a position to help them.
Never
Give Up
***************
***************
Dear
Harlan,
Last night the newspaper was lying open to the page with your
column, and glancing over it I saw Walt's
letter and your response. Your response was beautifully
written - just another of the many little things that have
helped to keep me going. Serving in all forms is wonderful,
but, for me, I find that the greatest service anyone can give
me - more than a warm loaf of bread or even a million dollars
- is nonjudgmental compassion, love and emotional support,
even when he or she can't understand exactly what it is I
am going through. Thank you a million times over for your
generous compassion. It is most often through other people
that I see signs of God's love and remember that he most definitely
hasn't forgotten me.
Most
Grateful
