Jealous
Guy Needs To Stop Worrying That
Everyone Is Better
Dear
Harlan,
I am a 25-year-old guy. My problem is me. I haven't been able
to deal with my jealousy, and it has already led to a failed
relationship before. Now I'm in another relationship, and
the same problems are resurfacing. I get intensely jealous
and possessive if another guy tries to get close to my girlfriend.
I usually don't let the feelings out for fear that she might
see me as being too possessive. But I am. I love her deeply
and couldn't lose her. The problem is that she doesn't see
anything wrong with it because she is the outgoing type, not
that I am introverted. I tried explaining things to her, but
she wouldn't listen. I hate being this sensitive, because
it's made me too dependent on her and consumed with the idea
that something will go wrong between us. Help.
Need Help
Dear
Need Help,
She might find out that someone is better, and leave you,
right?
It's relentless living in a world where so many other people
are such better options. And that's the problem with jealous
men (and women). They think everyone else is better because
they don't believe they're good enough. Jealous people don't
see who they are - just everything they aren't. And it erodes
even the best relationship.
Here's what you need help seeing: NO ONE is better at being
you than you are - NO ONE! And it's YOU who your girlfriend
should want to date. A girlfriend who doesn't see it or can't
see it isn't worth worrying about. Just make sure the women
YOU date want YOU and not just anyone who can make them feel
wanted. Once you can see this and once you can be your best,
assuming you meet a woman who is her best, no one else will
be better, just different. And different isn't so threatening.
