One
Year Later, Boyfriend Finds Out
Girlfriend Cheated
Dear
Harlan,
I
found out that my girlfriend cheated on me the first month
that we were going out. She got drunk with a guy at a party,
but the guy couldn't "perform" (guess I should be lucky about
that one). I have forgiven her for the act because she is
a few years younger, and when I started at college I did really
stupid things too.
My
problem is that I didn't find out about it from her. I found
out when I stumbled upon a message from her friend. I asked
certain, very specific questions to get her to admit it, but
she still wouldn't tell me the whole truth until I told her
I already knew. We've been together for almost a year now
and I love her, but if she's been hiding something like this
for so long and practically refused to tell me the truth until
I already knew, how do I know she's not hiding anything else?
We've talked about getting married and moving in together
in the future, but the only thing holding me back now is whether
or not she's telling me the truth now. She swears up and down
that she is, and I want to believe her, but I don't know how
to handle it.
Cheated On
Dear
Cheated On,
One
question: Can you trust her? If not, don't date her.
Cheating
is a hideous and ugly stain on anyone's character. Maybe she
didn't think that you were going to be more than a fling,
but then fell in love with you and realized her mistake. Still,
she cheated, kept it a secret, and that's just plain ugly.
If
you stay with her, make sure she explains why she did it,
why it will never happen again and why you should trust her.
Then, if you love her and trust her, date her for a few years.
DO NOT rush into marriage. If she lies again, end it. If you
can't trust her, end it. Forgive her once, but never marry
a liar and/or cheater.
