When
Online Guy Is Too Shy To Meet In Person,
Sign Off And Move On
Dear
Harlan,
I
started talking via the phone to a guy I met online a few
weeks ago. We get along really well (from the first day, it
had been like we were best friends for years), and I cannot
stop thinking about him. My stomach is in knots all the time,
and my mind goes blank when we speak. We live in two different
cities, and I don't drive. His car got in a wreck, so therefore
we have no way to meet. But we already act like an engaged
couple and are very comfortable with each other. But I fear
the real reason he doesn't want to meet is insecurities about
himself (he has hinted around to it), but I don't care about
his looks exactly. I have seen a picture of him, and even
with a little extra weight I would like him. I am just plain
flustered about what to do! He isn't ready to meet yet, and
I'm ready and willing. Should I wait on him, or just move
on?
Confused in California
Dear
Confused,
The
guy is extremely insecure, extremely married, in a relationship
or just lying. Assuming he's not lying, married or in a relationship,
let's just say he's wildly insecure.
What
do you want with a guy who's this uncomfortable about himself?
Could it be because you're not the most secure person and
that dating someone even more insecure is safe because he's
not going to judge you? Two insecure people don't equal one
secure person; it just equals two people hiding in a relationship.
You're NOT engaged and you're NOT best friends; you're just
two insecure people who found each other online (there are
a lot of you). Move on. And when you do, look for someone
who can actually meet you face to face. Otherwise, the next
one will be just as insecure of a guy, and insecure partners
don' make for the most secure relationships.
