Letter
Touches The Hearts Of The Currently
And Formerly Shy
Dear Harlan,
My
heart went out to the
girl who wrote to you about being shy.
While I think what you said is true, I also think that, for
some, it isn't so easy. I can identify with everything she
is feeling. While I was growing up, and well into my 30s,
I felt as she does now. It took approximately four years for
me to feel comfortable and "normal" after I was married.
I spent my life trying to do everything the way that normal
people did. The smallest of details were constantly going
through my head - I wanted to stand the way normal people
did, I wanted to say things the right way. I wish I could
share what developed for me over the years and has helped
me become comfortable with myself in hopes that I could save
someone time. Your last sentence was just great: "Surround
yourself with people who tell you how beautiful you are in
every way ... work with a therapist." I enjoy your column.
Tella to You
Hi Tella to You,
Thank you. A lot of hearts went out to "Shy Girl." Some readers
felt as if they could have written her letter; others sympathized,
and a few thought she exhibited symptoms of Asperger's syndrome.
But about that last line - we all need to envelop ourselves
with people who love us and remind us that we deserve to be
loved, especially shy people. Like a boxer in the ring, it's
the people in our corner who help us survive, heal our wounds
and remind us that we're good enough when we need to hear
it most. We need them. It's the difference between living
life and just watching it while worrying about what everyone
thinks.
As for "normal," it is only what we think others think of
us. I've never been normal. And I don't ever want to be.
