Girlfriend
Can't Compete Against
Boyfriend's Sister For Attention
Dear
Harlan,
My boyfriend is way too close to his sister. I used to be
friends with her, but we no longer talk. She calls ALL the
time on his cell and is, like: "Where are you? Who are you
with? What are you going to do? Why are you with those people?
What movie are you watching?"
It was OK for a while, then it got REALLY ANNOYING, because
even when I call him I don't ask him that many questions.
Also, when she calls and needs something he'll drop everything
and do it. He does things for her that I don't even think
he'd do for me. I can't stand it! She only calls when she
needs something; she tried using me and being nice to me when
she needs something. He never sticks up for me or yells at
her for trying to use me. I mentioned to him that this is
not a three-way relationship and that I wanted him to say
something to her. He just rejected her calls and kept on being
nice to her. I threatened to break up with him. The next time
she called, all he said was: "What do you want? You only want
something when you call." That had nothing to do with the
situation. I HATE it. What do I do?
Competing for His Attention
Dear Competing,
You don't like his sister?
You want him to tell her off?
You want him to yell at her?
But he respects her too much to do that?
Because he respects women in his family?
Don't
change that. This
is a good thing. Besides,
he might like his sister being involved. In that case, maybe
you should go, and he should find someone else. Here's
the advice: Instead of telling him what to do, ask him why
she's so involved. Ask him if he likes it. Ask him if he's
ever had problems with other relationships because of his
sister being involved. Clearly, he doesn't see the problem.
By asking him, he can discover what you see. And then, if
it's something that he thinks he needs to change, he can change
it. Otherwise, I'd plan on not dating him. When choosing between
his sister and you, his sister will win.
