There
Aren't Any Rules for
Dating a Comatose Guy
Dear
Harlan,
I started dating a guy who is 21 years old; I am 33. We had
only been going out about a month when he got in a serious
car accident. He was in a coma for about two weeks. I visited
him every other day at the hospital. I had never met his parents
before this. His mom and stepdad were friendly, but his dad
just glared at me. I have a mutual friend with the dad, and
I think the problem might be my age - even though I could
honestly pass for 18. After a while, they only allowed immediate
family to see him. I called once or twice a week to check
on him. Now they've moved him to a rehabilitation facility,
and I don't know where to go from here. I really liked him
and want him to know that I am here for him. I'm not sure
what to do next.
Kind of Dating
Dear Dating,
When he slipped into a coma, he became incapable of making
his own decisions. That's when people in charge of his care
became the decision makers. And this brings me to his parents.
I don't think the age difference is the major issue - it's
that their son almost died, and he needs to heal. Take their
cues and give them space. Tell them that when their son needs
a friend, you're there for him. If after a reasonable amount
of time you don't hear from them, get in touch with him directly
and let him know you're still there. And if you fall in love
and age is an issue, that's the time to deal with it, not
now.
